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| Soooo Calbat restarted a xanga so maybe I'll re jumpstart mine. Things are finally happening for me. Two big exposure commercials. Engaged. Moving to Austin finally. Making some decent money, though it's never enough is it? Weezer concert is Monday and Tuesday! So excited. And I'm about to get health insurance through my job so I can finally get the sinus surgery I need. Life is happy right now, let's keep it going up.  | | |
| Wow, I was just looking at one of my ex's profile on facebook and I just realized she was engaged. So happy for her. 3 of my exes have gotten engaged, and one of those is married with a 2 year old. Makes me feel....happy/sad/strange all at the same time. Cus I've been with Tiff for four years now and....nothing. It's only because of money though. I'm an idiot to be sure to have waited this long though. First increase in my credit card should have gone to it. But of course I was an idiot unsure of himself when that happened. Now I really want to make it official and I have a huge credit card debt to pay off, shitty wages and hours, doing work for free and there seems to be no end in sight. At least we'll be living together next year. Why does money have to delay our dreams? So we can feel like we're working really hard to accomplish something? But what if that work is meaningless to you and isn't your chosen path? This is why Americans are an unhappy bunch. We work harder and longer than our European counterparts, yet have much more depression and heaviness about us than they do. I know I won't be working a near minimum wage job forever, but it makes you think about those who will, or who will work a job with a massive salary they hate just to pay for stuff they need or want. I feel a deep sadness for those people because I will suffer with them in silence for a while longer. And it makes me feel worse that there isn't a date as to when things will get better. Just that constant searching and hope. It will come. I know it. It has to. It's what I was born for. | | |
| Just got the urge to get on here. Kinda weird urge. Lots of stuff happening lately. My Uncle Scott had a heart attack last night and apparently they're trying to convince him to get surgery on his 3 blocked arteries. My oldest sister is about to have her 8th baby. I'm preparing to play Hamlet. I'm pretty much broke all the time. I submitted myself for the first time on Actor's Access for a film in Kyle. Auditioned for an interesting short play for FronteraFest. About to record my first video audition for CO and TX Shakes. Got free clothes from work finally. Getting a gift card from my boss for doing so well on the last secret shop. Re-reading the Ender series (some of the best sci fi books ever written). Helping my lady stay positive. Helping myself stay positive. Realized Comedy Central on Thursdays is magical (Tosh.0, South Park, Daily Show and Colbert). Life is full and I am happy to be alive. End of transmission. | | |
| I saw Jenny did a blog recently so I wanted to do one too. I dunno on what. I'm starting work on Hamlet. This is going to be a beast. A beast I will wrestle to the ground. My first leading Shakespearean role. Performed in a house. How sweet is that? So, someone in France and someone in Iran has been looking at my site. So, hello to the people in France and Iran. To be honest, I didn't know Iranian internet extended past its borders. Kinda like China. Anyway, no disrespect to you, just kinda surprised that showed up. Anywho.
I'm gonna rant to no one in particular for a sec.
Why do you have to be so selfish? Why do you think leaving will make things better for you? What will it take to get your priorities straight? I'm sorry things are so boring around here. We had a nice day watching TV and having dinner without you, just talking. And where were you? Nowhere to be found. Definitely not at work trying to help pay the bills we are all equally responsible for and the rent we are all equally responsible for. So what last minute scenario are we playing this month? And stop smoking and maybe you won't be coughing all damn night.
Whatever.
So, what's up guys?
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| Why is it so hard for me to manage money? I don't do much wasteful spending, if I buy clothes I buy them at my store so I can get them heavily discounted. I haven't bought a movie in who knows how long. The most frivolous purchase I've made this year was replacing my headphones that were chewed through by my cat. And those were like $70 or $80. And yet here I am with a negative balance in my bank account (not much thankfully) and a maxed out credit card. What the fuck happened? And where the fuck is all my money going? According to my Wells Fargo spending report, my car and groceries is where I spend most of my money. How can I not save anything? How do I screw myself so badly? And why am I not making enough money now that I've graduated to at least pay my bills and have something left over? Oh yeah, because I picked the wrong year to be born. I was born the year of the last stock market crash, so why shouldn't the economy be falling down around us right as I graduate college and go into the Entertainment industry? It makes sense. I must have a massive Karma check coming, but I can't wait around for it to get cashed. I have to push myself, make money any way I can, short of becoming a manwhore for money. It's just so damn frustrating. This is why artists think they like socialism. Fuck. | | |
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